Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Great American Inventions

For my first posting, I would like to discuss what, in my opinion (and I'm not exaggerating), is the greatest invention of all time. I mean, totally dominates sliced bread or the wheel. I'm talking of course about the Wawa Pancake Sizzli. This breakfast sandwich is the very definition of innovation. (I took a class on innovation; I know what I'm talking about.) At its core, the Pancake Sizzli is not all the different from a regular breakfast sandwich. A scrambled egg patty on top of sausage, all topped with American cheese. (Yes, I realize it is white American which is a concern, but I'm willing to let it slide.)

Here is where the main issue comes into play, the ingredient to shield this core of breakfast awesomeness. This is where Wawa really let the creative juices flow. (that's what she said.) Instead of the boring/typical/lame English muffin, Wawa slaps two PANCAKES around this beefy core of tastiness. (that's what she said.)

Fig 1 : A Slice of Heaven

Two pancakes. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but let me break it down for you:

1. English muffins are bland, pancakes are ridiculously tasty.

2. English muffins have those stupid cornmeal things all over them leaving a giant mess on your car/pants/boxers, pancakes are clean.

3. English muffins are English. Pancakes are American.

4. English muffins have lame nicknames like: Hot muffin or breakfast muffin. Pancakes have cool nicknames like: Hotcakes, griddlecakes, or flapjacks.

5. A breakfast sandwich with an English muffin does not leave you anything to remember it by (aside from increased risk of heart attack). The Wawa Pancake Sizzli is so generous that it leaves your hands SMELLING LIKE PANCAKES!

I know what you're thinking and/or saying out loud, "I probably don't want my hands to smell like pancakes." You're lying and you're an idiot. Pancakes might be one of the best smells in life, and your hands will smell like pancakes all day, making life that much more enjoyable. So go out and experience this creation of the gods because it’s Flippin' Sweet.


  1. a. How dare you question my Americanism. My roots stem from that of Chef Boyardee (Piacenza, Italy) who is the greatest American of all Italian-Americans.

    b. Being that I am a TRUE American, and following in the foot steps of our forefathers, I claimed that breakfast sandwich for myself in the name of freedom.

    c. I wish there was a Wawa around the corner.

  2. Noticed some flagrant grammatical errors in my comment, so I had to correct...

    However, I doubt you're really an American Mr. Migliorini. First off, that is a blatantly Italian name, fascist. You probably have a Musolini poster in room. Second, if you were a TRUE patriot, you'd let your fellow American, whom, might I add, never had a Pancake Sizli before, have the only Pancake Sizli left. Especially when the nearest WaWa is 192831 miles from home base. Fascist. Oh, you're a commie bastard too. But at least you know your breakfast sammiches.

  3. I would just like to say that although I LOVE white American cheese, it has no place on my breakfast. Cheddar is where it is at in the morning.

  4. How much LSD do you people eat on a daily basis? As for that Wawa Pancake Sizzli thing-a-ma-jiggy, only a pot head with a raging case of the munchies could eat it. lol